Nabiki looked at Ranma as a cold dread settled inside her. This can't be good. She thought to herself as she walked slowly over to her bed and sat down and tried to collect her thoughts.
Ranma stood in the center of the room and waited for her to get settled. His face was cloudy, like he had warring emotions pulling him in different directions. When she had settled, he spoke in a hesitant voice that was shaking a bit, but she could tell had some anger behind it. "What are you playin' at?" He asked her quietly.
She looked at him blankly. She honestly didn't know how to reply to that. As she tried to figure out what to say, he continued, "I heard you, just now, ya know? What are you doing? Are you just playin' around? Is this all just a game to you?"
Her heart climbed into her throat and she honestly felt like she might faint or throw up. Ranma stood there looking at her with those piercing blue eyes, and waited for her to respond. She was sure that to him, this was like a battle now, since he no longer thought that she was being sincere. If that was the case, he would stand his ground and fight, so deflecting him wouldn't work. Was she ready to open up to him more? Did she really want to keep him, or was she just punishing Akane for foisting him on her? She was in fairly uncharted waters right now. It wasn't often that anyone had her at a loss for words, especially someone younger than she was. She fumbled for an answer. "W-what you heard, just now ... I was just ... teasing Akane." She began awkwardly.
He raised his eyebrows but didn't interrupt her, so she continued. "As I am sure you could tell at dinner ... Akane seems to think I have done something terrible to her. Maybe I have, maybe I haven't, but regardless, I was responding to her actions when I teased her."
He frowned at that. "What actions?"
Good, he was willing to listen. That was a good sign, she continued in a stronger voice. "As we were getting up from the table to leave the room, Akane bumped into me on purpose. I think she was trying to goad me into a fight."
Ranma shook his head when she said that. "But, that's not what happened." He said calmly as he looked at the ground.
Now she was confused. She was one hundred percent sure that Akane had bumped into her. Ranma elaborated in a quiet voice. "She tripped. She was watchin' me leave, and she wasn't payin' attention to what you were doin'. I saw her from the opposite angle you saw her from. She caught her toe on the mat and she lost her balance. When she stepped to regain her balance, that put her right on a path to you. She apologized to you, didn't she?"
She just stared at him in shock. She ran the moment back in her memory and realized that yes, Akane had dipped a bit before she ran into her. Had she just tripped? Or was Ranma covering for her?
Ranma looked back up at her then and asked, "But even if she had run into you on purpose, ... why would you say what you said? Why are you offerin' to sell me back to her?" He asked quietly.
She was afraid. She hadn't been truly afraid in a long time. Even when those crazy girls had been swinging weapons at her, she hadn't been truly afraid. She had known Ranma wouldn't let them hurt her. But ... now ... but now ... Ranma was the source of her fear. She wasn't afraid he'd hurt her, of course. She was afraid of what he would say next. She forced herself to look up into his eyes, then she quickly looked back down at her hands as she grasped them together nervously in a constantly changing grip. He was standing there, waiting for her to respond. What she saw most in his eyes, was hurt and disappointment. Maybe Akane was a better match for him after all. Maybe their form of a relationship with its childish bickering was more healthy for him than what she could offer. Maybe ... maybe she wasn't as grown up and mature as she had thought she was.
In a voice that broke with emotion, she tried to explain. "I ... I ... you're right, I did say that. And the truth is ... the truth is..." She took a deep breath and forced herself to look up again at him. "The truth is I don't know how I feel about you, Ranma. I think ... I think maybe I do have feelings for you. But, maybe this is just a fun game for me..." she trailed off as she ran out of things to say, then she thought of one more. She blushed crimson as she asked, "How do you feel about me?"
Ranma blinked at that and sat down slowly on the floor. He looked at the ground and said quietly, "I don't know. I do like you ... sometimes more than others ... depending on what you're doin'."
Her heart was pounding as she waited for him to continue and she stared at her hands. She had to admit, what he said was fair. She couldn't trust herself to look at him. When he didn't continue she asked another question. "Well, what do you want, Ranma? Who do you want to be engaged to?"
She couldn't see the expression on his face, because she was too afraid to look at him. He was silent for a long time before he answered her question with a question. "Were you lyin' ta me when you said you loved me?"
She actually gasped softly at that. She was having a hard time breathing. The room seemed to be too hot, and she started to see black at the edge of her vision. She took a deep shuddering breath and closed her eyes as she tried to regain her center. Ranma hadn't just pulled her off it, he had slammed her into the proverbial cold mud at the base of it. She didn't know what to do or say. She couldn't think of a clever quip to give voice to; she couldn't think of a joke to use to lighten the mood; she couldn't even seem to slow her heart rate down. What was wrong with her? A few days ago, Ranma would never have been able to affect her like he was now. She forced herself to look up at him as she took another deep breath and let it out slowly as her eyes settled on him. He was still just sitting on the floor, trailing his finger in the carpet nervously. He was blushing, but not that much. She couldn't tell if it was just because of the situation he found himself in, or if he cared what her answer was.
She couldn't think of another way to handle the situation, as her mind, which usually never failed her, was coming up with blanks. So, she decided to just tell him the truth. "The truth is, Ranma... t-the truth is, yes, I was lying when I told you I lov—"
"—all right, then I guess we're done here." He interrupted her in a hurt voice as he stood up to leave.
She panicked and called out much more loudly than she meant to. "W-wait!"  He paused as he was in the act of standing up and looked at her with wide eyes. Neither of them wanted Akane to get involved in this conversation. She blushed and lowered her voice. "P-please ... just hear me out .... please?" She asked softly.
He sighed but nodded his head and sat back down. He wasn't glaring at her, but he wasn't blushing anymore, either. He sat cross-legged and was waggling his legs up and down in a clear message that he wanted to get going, he also started flicking his fingers together impatiently. At least he was polite enough to hear her out though, she respected that. She didn't know why, but his sudden lack of nervousness hurt her more than she would have expected. She continued as best she could in a shaky voice. "I ... I didn't mean I lied in the sense that I don't have feelings for you. I meant I lied in the sense that I don't think I know what love is. When I said what I said, yes, I have to admit that some of it came from a desire to just play with you. But, the intention of what I said wasn't to hurt you."
Ranma's impatient body language slowed and then stopped as she spoke, and she noticed with great happiness that his blush was starting to return as well. She continued as best she could; she knew she wasn't going to get another chance like this. "I...I am not head-over-heels in love with you, that's the truth. In fact, I don't know if I could ever be the kind of person who is just silly-in-love like that. But I do have feelings for you. I don't know if they are real feelings or if it is just something else, but I do know that you are kind and you have done a lot for this family. You've saved my dopey little sister more times than I can count. You are the only one in this house brave enough to stand up to Happosai and to keep him in line. And... and, you've saved me too, twice just recently."
He was looking at her with panic growing on his face. She could tell that he was uncomfortable talking about real things like this. Well, tough, he had started this, so she was going to say her peace. "None of that means that we should be engaged to be married for real, if you don't want to be." She added quickly as she saw worry growing on his face. "But I will be happy to tell our parents that we are engaged for as long as you want, and give you some breathing room."
He didn't say anything to that, he just looked off into space thoughtfully. She didn't have much more to say, so she finished with a reluctant admission. "If you would rather switch back to Akane, I ... I understand. Why don't you think about it tonight, and tomorrow we can talk about it again, maybe at lunch?"
He looked very relieved when she said that, and met her eyes again as he nodded. "All right, Nabiki. I'll think about it. While I'm in trainin' the whole engagement thing doesn't matter all that much to me, but you're the first person I can ever think of who ever asked me what I wanted about all this." He stood up to leave and looked down at her with those cold blue eyes of his. "Thank you for bein' honest with me." He said quietly, but sincerely.
She nodded hesitantly and walked with him towards the door, as he opened it and peeked out to make sure the coast was clear, she couldn't help but feel like he was walking out of more than just her room, and a lump started to climb in her throat. He looked back at her and smiled as he started to leave the room.
She couldn't help herself, she reached out and grabbed his arm. He froze but didn't look back, so she pulled on his arm and moved to him and hugged him from behind, and buried her face into his back. After a moment, he turned in her arms and let her hug him properly. He didn't hug her in return, though. He let his arms drape down on either side of her, but he didn't wrap her in them like she wanted him to. She didn't know what to make of that, but she knew she couldn't hold on to him in her doorway all night. Eventually someone would see them together and get the wrong idea. So, she took a deep shuddering breath and loosened her grip on him and let her arms slide down to grasp on to his hands.
He stepped back away from her almost immediately. He made eye contact with her, but she couldn't read his expression. With a small smile he took another step back from her which caused her to lose her grip with her left hand. As he stepped back slowly again, her right hand slid down his hand until she was only brushing his fingertips, and then a moment later she was holding only air.
He smiled back at her with one of his winning smiles he used when he was trying to be nice to people, but if anything that just made her feel worse. She watched him head down the hall and go into the room he shared with his father. He didn't look back again as he entered the room.
She slowly stepped backwards into her own room and closed the door. She braced herself against it with her head on the door and her hands framing her head. Slowly, she turned and put her back to the door as she slid down it to sit on the floor as the tears came. She had fought hard against them while Ranma could see her, but now that she was alone again, the dam was breaking, and she couldn't make them stop.
She slowly slumped all the way to lay on the ground and hugged herself and sobbed quietly on the floor as she thought, what have I done?